Holiday Happenings.

We currently have no internet at the moment but my Dad was nice enough to lend me this Vodafone connector so I can at least check my e-mails and such. Unfortunately can't connect to SL so hopefully the internet will sort it's self out soon.

Christmas Eve was generally a quiet one. I uploaded some christmas money I got and went crazy at A:S:S. With all the money to Amnesty International I wanted to donate some of my cash to this cause. Plus I got loads of cool new stuff so win win!

After shopping, Franzi sent out the final message from Tidra and the closing of the sim. I had taken some footage but not really any photos. I took advantage of the quiet moment I had and TP'd over to Tidra to take some final photos and say one last goodbye. Though I hadn't spent long on Tidra it was a big turning point in my Second Life. Ever since I joined SL back in April 2008 I never thought I would join anything like Gor. But after my short RP on the island I have more respect for it as a roleplay and how important it is to some people. Everyone at Tidra was so kind to me and welcomed me with open arms and though times, minds and situations have heavily changed over these last couple of months, Tidra will always be an important chapter in my Second Life. For one last time I got into my white silks, strolled around and took some pics.

 After awhile, whether I felt too emotional or felt I didn't really belong there, I said my final goodbye and tp'd home.

I spent most of the evening chatting with Rammy. I had only met him a couple of times but never really had any deep conversations. The one funny thing Rammy mentioned was a guy who obviously didn't speak english that started asking for the old pixel bumpage like most guys do. What he didn't know is the guy had asked me that very same day for sex while I was playing Sparkle at Spankies.

Rammy and I hanging round with big red balls

A evening talking of random nothings with someone new made me feel kinda refreshed and I was also lucky to catch a cuddle with Tel before I headed to bed. He had spent most of the night cleaning up his stuff from Tidra and I didn't really want to disturb him. I knew how close he felt to the place so wanted to give all the time he could before having to say one final goodbye.

Christmas day was pretty laid back compared to most Christmas days. I got up stupidly early which I didn't plan and just went about the day of family and festivities. Even know my brother peeves me to my limits it was nice to have him there that day. Only him can make me laugh from just two words like "big ones" when it comes to talking about hermaphrodites.

Boxing day was lovely as I was surprised with a homestead! I really kinda hoped Tel would wait a moment a let his RL finances build a little but I also knew he couldn't wait for it. We now have a beautiful homestead to share along with his SL son Spanki who I hope I can get to know more. He even gave me only little private island to get some alone time when I need it.

Sebby and Murdoc love the new open space.

My own lil private island on the side of the homestead

Tel and I enjoying a cuddle as the sunsets.

Sharing a place and being part of a family is kinda scary for me. Especially after the year I've had and after the way I was treated by Callum. I see high hopes for 2011 and this is pretty much the perfect way to start.

SL and RL happenings.

For some reason I didn't sleep too well last night but had to get up to do some voice recording for a friend. This song was in my head when I got up. Beautiful animation.


Thought of You from Ryan J Woodward on Vimeo.

The sad news of this week is the planned closure of Tidra at the end of the year. We had always been told that if there wasn't enough people using the place by the end of Christmas that Franzi wouldn't be able to hold it open financially. I've haven't been there really since I gave up my spot as a slave which I feel bad about. I enjoyed the time I got to RP there but being a slave really wasn't for me and I don't think I was a very good one anyway. What mostly makes me sad is the time and effort that was put into Tidra that now seems to have gone to waste. A long summer of sweat and tears went into that place and to see the efforts not become fruitful is a sad thing to witness. I don't know the full story to everything so have no right to comment really. I'll be sure to head there to take pictures and videos before anything happens.

We lost another DJ at Spankies. Seo usually has a hissy fit at something and then comes back a couple of weeks later but this time however it's due to RL busyness and that can't be helped. Rustie and I talked about replacements and said we will ask around after Christmas. At this time of year no-one really wants to commit to anything and I can only REALLY commit to any day besides Fridays and Saturdays. Something that did get me wondering was when Rustie questioned on why I hadn't been told but he had. I'm meant to be PJ's right hand man, at least that what we were told to believe. I didn't receive any im about another DJ disappearing. Rustie got one because he helps manage for the American time zones. It makes me wonder why PJ ask me to help him manage the club when really all I do is stand in for DJs who can't make it. I went on and on about decorating the club for Christmas and one time I even got the reply "We'll do it a week before Christmas". I was looking forward to decorating the club and when I tp'd one time to find he had already done it I felt my heart sink a little. It's his club, he can do what he wants but don't ask to help if you don't really want me to!

As for RL the only thing thats got me ranting is my flatmate Lucy. I feel I'm going to say words soon that will upset her but seriously...she is being a twat at the moment. She found out just over a week ago that he boyfriend had cheated on her and a little after that that it wasn't just the once. If you want to give someone a second try then that's fine. However don't come to me saying you're making sure you take it slow then the next time I see you see you draped all over him. Talking about the nice things he's bought you and say things like "I told him he couldn't buy back my trust but....(insert something here involving flowers or crystals). It's just made me lose all respect for her. Another of my flat mates has gone on anti depressants and she NEEDS those. She's in a bad place right now and I'm happy to see her get her getting help and am extremely proud of her even though she really doesn't like putting drugs in her body. Lucy on the other hand DOESN'T NEED anti depressants. But still as soon as she saw my other flat mate go on them she had to have them as well. I had to bite my lip yesterday when my flat mate asked her jokingly "What flavour are your pills?" and the temptation to say "placebo flavoured" was very hard to hold back but I did. She's feeling down and could probably do with someone to talk to professionally but she's a drama queen. She has to have something in her life happening for the attention from everyone else. When I got counselling I didn't want anyone to know. I told my close friends but that was about it. She feels she has to let the whole world know it facebook statues, livejournal entries etc etc. She revels in having hardships in life and makes sure all of us know that her situations are unbearable...until her cheating boyfriend buys her roses and suddenly she's all dandy. I just don't want to talk to her any more. I just want her to grow up. Or maybe these pills will help her calm the hell down and make her think sensible besides from just 'me me me' all the time.

Lastly the race for Christmas No.1 goes on. Last year the usual X Factor bollocks was pushed to number 2 because of a campaign to get people to by 'Killing in the Name Of' by Rage against the Machine. Not very Christmassy but a sweet sense of justice. So wonderful that downloaded singles are counted in the charts.



This year there's been plenty other songs that are trying to achieve the same affect along with X Factor giving it another go with the same rubbish cover they release every year. This one however is getting my vote this year.

Collared and chuffed.

For some reason the internet has decided it doesn't want to play. It seems OK for the moment but I'm not even sure if I'll even get this post up (if you're reading this I guess it hasn't died on my yet). It started cutting out on me last night and I hate just logging off without being able to say goodnight to people. And I was having some good conversations too. Grr.

In Tidra news I finally got collared *yay*. Dead performed the ceremony out in the jungle where he found Derren. Was a really nice ceremony but I wish I wasn't as jittery as I was. Due to having to take drugs for some allergies (as much as I love cats I'm allergic to them and my mum has three) my fingers kept on shaking all over the keyboard. Seeing as Tel is OK with the RP I'll post it up when I get a chance. Currently as my internet doesn't want to play I can't get on SL. Will try again tonight and if that doesn't work will be back in my student digs by tomorrow afternoon.

Spankies is going through some changes. PJ is re-organizing the whole sim with possible chances to re-designing the club. Am interested to see how that all pans out.

Going to see John Bishop tonight with the RL BF and his mum. The dude is freakin' hilarious. Big fan of dry humour.

Where would I go?

I'm back at my Dad's house for the weekend which has kind of cheered me up a bit. I've been slightly depressed about RL and university work. So coming back to the country side has lifted my spirits a bit. I'm a country boy at heart.

Not much movement going on in SL. Tel and I keep missing each other online so I'm still not collared. I have however got my collar, cuffs and silks ready to wear when the time comes. Hopefully I'll catch him today. Fran has been talking about closing Tidra which I really don't want to happen. I can understand his frustration of there only being 5 of us there but would be a shame to have worked on something for so many months only to close it down. I want to do all I can to help but not sure what I can really do though. Can't really go to other sims and pass out landmarks. I don't know any other Gor people. All my friends are either kids, women or straight. Or not into RP. Where would I go if Tidra was to close? I know Tel doesn't want a personal slave and I've had an offer from River that I could follow him and Fran but I don't know if Fran wants me as a personal slave. To be honest I'm not sure I want to be a personal slave to anyone...not yet anyway. I'll learn how to be a better slave quicker if I'm a fort slave. At least that's what I think. Sey has also offered I can follow him to another Gor sim. I don't know. Seems as soon as I find a new place it all falls apart. I don't want to see that happen to Tidra. I want to see it grow and flourisher. Gotta think what I can do to help.

Someone told me something quite personal last night which I think brought us closer together. Which is awesome. I always found it a bit hard to strike up conversation as I wasn't quite sure what to say. Now I feel a lot closer to this person :)

I couldn't help but annoy my ex last night. It had been the first time we 'kinda' talked since I took him off my friend list. I'm still "in a huff" to quote a friend. If that's what he wants to call it then fine. I think my actions are perfectly reasonable after the way he treated me. The 'intelligence' he apparently has is far superior then my own of course. I couldn't understand his pain and suffering over the whole ordeal. Pfft I did and I tried to be nice no matter how much I was hurting inside. Now stop being a selfish asshole and grow a pair. I could rant on for days but it's not worth the effort.

Bitter that he was partnered about a week after our split...maybe. Lol. Feels like no matter how much I care or love someone it will still get shoved back in my face. Wah this is turning into quite a ranty blog entry. It was going to happen. I miss having someone I wait online for and who would wait for me, instantly im-ing me and wanting to know how I am. Go exploring, talk for hours about nothing and all that shizz. Blah. I just can't see it happening again.

Splinters in my butt...

I DID post up my lil story of my time in the jungle but for some reason a small part of the ending had been cut off. So will post it back up once I've re-written it.

Dead the tavern keeper found Derren while on a expedition for herbs. He's now been washed, fondled, poked (with a sword...tsk pervs), fed and left in a cage overnight to learn his new status in life. Will most likely be collared tomorrow night.

In other non RP news I'm djing again tomorrow. Better download some new tunes though Wednesdays are usually quiet. PJ has also asked me to come up with a design for the club website. Not much of a web designer but see what I can do. ;)

Bedtime me thinks. *Tries his best to get comfortable in his cruddy little cage* damn you Dead.

Time in the Jungle

It had only been a couple of hours sleep but Derren was already wide awake. His head was swimming with thoughts of his decision. To stay and become a slave or to fend for himself in the jungle. He looked round at his friend River as he slept soundly. It was obvious he had made up his mind and that was to stay. The jungle had scared him too much. Derren's eyes scanned the room at the pictures, dimly lit by the fading fire. Portraits of what could be his future. Men binded and whipped, cuffed and collared. His skin crawled. Though his captor seemed generally nice while they drank that night, who knew if his attitude would change as soon as he submitted. No. He couldn't live like that. He wouldn't live like that.


As far as he knew he was still free to leave. He grabbed whatever silks he could find in the pile of laundry and tied it round his waist. The cloth smelled of dried sweat but it was better then cold and naked. He wrapped another round his shoulders and prepared to leave. He looked back at River, still sleeping softly, and wondered if he should make one last plea to join him. He knew in his heart that it would be hopeless. He kissed him softly on his golden hair, trying not to wake him, and left for the door.


The fort was still and quiet. Steeping outside the gates he looked out at the sea as the sun was just rising. He stood there for a moment, wondering if anyone else on the ship had survived. And if they had did they reach the island. Derren held no hope and sighed deeply. He looked up and watched the fading 3 moons, a sign of a new day. Giving the fort one last look he tighten the silk around his shoulders and headed into the jungle.


It seemed like miles when Derren finally stopped to rest. The sun was full in the sky and the heat was becoming unbearable. He found some shade and slipped off  the silks around his shoulders. He was tired and hungry but at least he was free. That was the important thing, right? He started to question his decision of leaving the fort and leaving River behind. He wondered if River had been collared yet and was starting his new life as a slave. He leaned back against the tree that was shading him as thoughts ran through his head. Trying his best to keep his wits about him, his exhaustion and the warm breeze soon get the better of him. His eyes refuse to stay open and he falls into a deep sleep.


The sun makes it's way across the sky and the winds begin to cool. Derren shivers, feeling tiny scratches over his body until he is woken suddenly with a sharp bite on his finger.
"Argh! What then...?" He shouts, flinching his hand back to his face. Hanging off his finger, teeth buried deep into his skin was what looked like a rat. Derren screams a number of strong profanities and violently shakes his hand in attempt to get the little beast to release his finger. The creature finally lets go and is swung into the bushes. Derren looks at his bleeding hand and examines the deep bite. He clasps it tightly in the silks he had stolen and tries to find water to cleanse the wound. Luckily he had stopped only a few feet away from a lagoon and dipped his hand into the cooling waters. Watching then blood swim into the water, he hisses painfully as he tries his best to rub the tender skin along his finger.
"Great start to a first day" he jokes to himself, trying in vain to keep his spirits high. He takes his still bleeding finger out of the water and wraps it tightly with a ripped piece of silk. He sits back on the bank and watches as his blood seeps quickly through the rag. Frustrated, he rips the now bloody rag off his finger and tries to make a thicker bandage. Pulling as tight as he can he stops the flow and breathes a sigh of relief.
"See, you can do this whole survival thing." He encourages himself, lifting to his feet. Dusting off his thighs he hears rustling coming from the bushes behind him. He listens carefully, noticing that the snorts and grumbles heading towards him were not human. Suddenly vicious reptilian creatures pounce from the bushes, snarling and heading straight for him. He takes no chances and begins to run as quick as he can. The 6 legged creatures charge after him, chasing him through the dense jungle overgrowth. His feet slipping on the grass and leaves as he stumbles his way through the as quick as he can. The 6 legged creatures charge after him, chasing him through the dense jungle overgrowth. His feet slipping on the grass and leaves as he tries his best to escape them. Forcing himself not to look back but hearing their snaps and snarls as they quickly catch up on him. This was it. This was the end. He should of stayed at the fort, swallowed his pride and become a slave. Now he was going to be eaten alive. He catches his foot on some low growing vine and trips, sending him flying through the air. Expecting to hit the hard earth he finds himself falling down into a deep pit, landing face first into the thick, wet mud. He lies there for a moment, waiting for his immanent death only to hear the growls and snarls much further away then they were before. He slowly looks up, the beasts now circling his muddy prison The sides too steep for them to venture down to attack him. He pulls himself up onto his knees and examines his dirt covered body. He tries his best to wipe away the mud but only seems to make it worse. He leans back against the wall of the pit and watches the creatures circle from the ground above him. The faith and determination he had at the begining of the day was now gone. Replaced with fear, hunger and loneliness. With no way out until the creatures left, he sat with his face in his hands and quietly wept.

Isle of Tidra - Background Story.

Because it won't fit all in my picks here's the full story.


The sun was on the verge of rising when Derren finally left the bar. It had been another busy Saturday night and the once busy streets were now empty and quiet. Taking the same route home he noticed a bright piercing light through the allyways. Looming on the brick walls stood figures far too big to be human. Before he even had time to focus, they attacked...


There was nothing but darkness.


He woke to the strange low humm of machinary. He had been stripped naked and placed in steel prison. He banged loudly on the captive walls, agreesively demanding his release.  So preoccupied he didn't notice the other boy sharing the cell with him, shaking in the corner of the prison. Derren's demands were met with an agreesive beating from the massive wolf like captives and a frightening new reality.


This was their fate and their fate was to become slaves.


With only the two of them for company they formed a strong bond and vowed to help each other. Through the grueling slave training, the cold, sleepless nights and, most importantly, their escape.


It would seem luck was shining upon them. An engine had blown on the ship, sending it crashing into the open sea. The boys were able to escape through a hole that was caused by the explosion and jumped into the great blue ocean and to freedom. At least they thought.


Exhausted from swimming they finally reach land and collapse on the soft golden sand. The lush green island make him wonder if he was still on Earth. Thinking they had escaped their slavery they did not realise what the future on the island had in for them.

It's a planet!?!

Franzi was nice enough to spend some time telling me about the history of Gor. To be honest I was hesitant about joining. When reading up on life in Second Life for my essay two years ago there was some stuff about Gor. All overly muscular men seeking newb women to be sex slaves in a medieval bdsm fantasy roleplay. Guuh. Sounded like a bunch of dickheads. One "Master" even told the writer of the book (who was at this time in a new female alt) that Gor was what all SL was about and that women had to serve men.

Lucky for me I have someone wise in the way of Gor guiding me through this strange new world I some how got involved in.

Since my breakup with my last SL boyfriend my confidence has been pretty low. He did make me FEEL pretty low as it was. I'm lucky I had PJ by my side to help me through such a difficult time. But it's lead me to seek something different then a normal second life partnership. To be honest I'd had enough. You treat someone with a great amount of love and understanding to have it shoved back in your face. This has left me a little cold inside when it comes to seeing someone as "more then a friend." Having someone close to you that you call your lover or family has become hard for me now. This last year of having my heart stamped on twice has a way of having negative events on a person. Like many have said to me, real emotion goes into this game and some seem to so simply disregard that as if you are nothing.

Hence, why I become a slave. Don't get me wrong I didn't do it because I hate myself and want to be punished or some crap. I became a slave to get my little jollies, have a little attention lavished on me for an hour or so then I can get back to my own business. I'm not gonna lie. I like sex in second life. When done properly it's fun. If people can't understand that then what's the point in their fun in second life? Why do people build or grief or shop or roleplay? Oh yeah that's right...cos they can't do it in real life. I'm a perv and I want to do fantasies I can't do in real life. Simple as that.

So back to Gor. Gor isn't all about what I've read or heard. Sure it's got sex, slaves and masters and all that jazz but when done properly there's a lot more to it. Or so I'm told. When I finally get into my role as a slave I will have a few tasks that I will need to address other then sex and pleasing my Masters. Which makes me pretty interested in starting the rp. And with such great owners who have helped me a lot I can forget my previous idea that all Gor Masters are douchebags.

The sim is not quite ready yet. There's still a lot of building to go. After talking with Tel I want to help but I think the best thing for me to do is just stay out of the way.